Day One

Me, but a lot younger and whiter

So...This weekend I had the pleasure of scanning a lot of my childhood pictures. I'm really happy about it! Finally I have in my possession documentation that explains why I am so self-absorbed. For a huge portion of my life, my formative years even, my family was absorbed into me as well. It's not my fault that I felt like a Roman and started doing what they did, and when they changed the game, I didn't.

I am absolutely infatuated with this picture and I don't know why. It is obviously that first hospital pic. You know the one with the weird slicked down hairstyle and the bow taped down. But guys, check the facial expression, I've been me since day one. I can just imagine what I was thinking. "Who the Heck is that!, and why are they all up ons". Notice the pugilistic stance, I seem to be ready to strike them if they bring that camera any closer.

I'm mad that I've been mad dogging fools since birth, perhaps in the womb I was rolling my eyes at dumb people who, although they didn't know my mother, felt the need to caress the belly. So I've made this picture my desktop, and I never want to turn off my computer. I just stare into my own eyes and think back to a simpler time. I know it's narcissistic and weird. I know it's crazy but its me and I am fascinated with myself at all ages. I know you are too, I understand, I'm just that tight!*

*Sorry about that last bit, I get a bit carried away

Grit and Grind

Alright... so I anticipate my posts being few, because I am now EMPLOYED. Yes! In two weeks I will have the ability to purchase. Meanwhile I am running ragged. Seriously I was never meant for a 9 to 5. Certainly not an 8 to 5 but hey, beggars can't choose not to got to work. So I chose to wake myself up between 6-6:45am this morning and get dressed to go to a place where they pay me a quarter a day. After work today I have to fulfill my responsibilities as part of the Leadership Staff at my church and lead the masses to the Lord. After all the leading I still have to be a student. Master's aren't going to earn themselves guys. Are you tired? Good. You go to sleep and I'll be awake burning the midnight vinegar. I ran out of oil last night.

A change in subject...
I'm beginning to hate those emails. You know those emails about how wonderful I am even though nobody but me thinks so. I got one yesterday, read it and though I was supposed to be uplifted I was surprisingly downpushed. Every line reminded me of loneliness and I was perplexed. Do these emails make anybody feel better? The poem is below.

"BECAUSE" by TD Jakes
Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, Doesn't mean you shine any less.
Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from being the best.
Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn't mean that day isn't coming.
Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn't give you permission to stop running.
Just because no one has realized how much of an awesome woman you are, doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.
Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.
Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair.
Just because God is still preparing your king, doesn't mean that you're not already a Queen.
Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing.
Keep shining, keep running, keep hoping, and keep praying, Keep being exactly what you are already.
COMPLETE

Now I'm not hating, I'm sure this poem has kept some woman from feeling like she was an ugly duckling. But what about the mud ducks? Do we send them "You need to get it together poems" or do we continue to tell them that they're perfect in their muddy duckiness and that one day some man will come and rinse them off. Do we let the drama types continue to believe that some man wants a starring role in their personal greek tragedy? Do we not offer real answers to why some women are appealing while others are not in the name of self-esteem or do we try to better women by gently pointing out flaws. I'm not talking about physical stuff, but I'm talking about the deeply entrenched psychological, emotional, and social problems that women sometimes have. I'm not exempt and no woman with a man is either. All I'm saying is some issues are more attractive than others and maybe I need a poem that nudges me away from the less attractive of the spectrum.

Blogless

So...A lot of stuff has happened over the past couple of days. None of it can be blogged because we don't want to give you a bad impression of me. I just want to say that I understand less and less of me as time moves on. Anyway, I've been watching Season Disks from my favorite BBC show, Coupling, recently. In one of the episodes the lady says Bollocks three times in succession. I am from America, I had no idea what that meant but I really wanted to incorporate it into my vocabulary. Those of you who know me, know that I don't make cursing a practice. So I had to look it up first and since you all seemed to be fans of the postscriptum blog, I have included yet again for your convenience a list of English slang words that you should know while watching BBC. By the way if any of you see any good BBC shows, let me know. I am a fan of British humor.

• Barmy - If someone tells you that you're barmy they mean you have gone mad or crazy.
  
• Beastly - You would call something or somebody beastly if they were really nasty or unpleasant.
  
• Blimey - Another exclamation of surprise.
  
• Bloody - One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise.(Swear word)
  
• Blooming - Another alternative to the word bloody.
  
• Bollocks - Technically speaking it means testicles but is typically used to describe something that is no good (that's bollocks) or that someone is talking rubbish (he's talking bollocks).
  
• Cheeky - Cheeky means that you are flippant, have too much lip.
  
• Daft - It basically means stupid
  
• Dodgy - If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted.
  
• Posh - Roughly translates as high class
  
• Slag - To slag someone off, is to bad mouth them in a nasty way
  
• Wanker - This is a derogatory term used to describe someone who is a bit of a jerk
  

The definitions were derived from http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

Pink Elephants

So... a friend of mine decided that we needed to talk about a pink elephant and ever since then that whole concept has baffled me. Pink Elephants. I've heard them talked about since I was really young, I even remember them being in a Looney Tune or two.

Having a pink elephant is having an weird issue that everyone knows about but no one discusses. So I think to myself, if I actually had a pink elephant (a literal one) I'd talk about it. If any elephant (pink or not) or any pink animal, for that manner showed up in any room that I found myself a resident of, I definitely discuss it with someone. Seriously, the color pink is not natural for animals so I'd have to talk about the animal in the room going through a punk phase. I'd have to talk about the large animal that wandered into this room because, animals should be in zoos or in wild places with trees and stuff, not in my neighborhood or my house.

But nonetheless, the metaphor still stands and people try to exterminate pink elephants. Mostly because they make for uncomfortability within relationships ( subjects that can't be breached, things that can't be joked about). However I'm surprised that there is no fund to preserve the Pink Elephant. I mean, by talking about these pink elephants are we killing them by lethal injection or beheading them or are we just ushering them out of the room or are we giving them a henna rinse the devoid them of their pinkness. I don't want to be involved in any violence towards animals. I'd really like to know what happens...

Having thoroughly embarrassed myself on the internet at this point, I will conclude by saying...
SAVE THE PINK ELEPHANT!!!!