It's Been Awhile...

So...I wrote an email to a friend of mine today. After deciding I was finished, I wanted to add something off topic. I P.S.'d it. And then I thought to myself. What does P.S. mean anyway? I know it's like unslang for "Oh Yeah,". But I couldn't figure out what the initials stand for.

I was perplexed so I started looking on the internet for it. Turns out that P.S. is an abbreviation for the Latin word postscriptum, which pretty much means, "The following was written after I wrote the other part". That's what I thought it stood for because I'm a nerd who recognizes file extensions and knew that a ps file was a postscript file, but I wasn't sure that was the definition. Anyway so I started thinking of all the other little abbreviations, that I didn't know the real meaning of, and I looked them up. Yes, I'm bored, but this is entertaining to me. I have included a list below for your convenience

e.g. - exempli gratia- for example
i.e. - id est - that is, (This the one you use when youre rambling)
r.s.v.p - répondez s'il vous plaît - please respond, (Pretty straight forward)
et al - et alia - and others (Ghetto translation- and nem)

Here is a soliloquy I wrote.

It would give me great pleasure if Bill Gates, et al would r.s.v.p. to my request for gifts, i.e. money, cars, apartments. For these thing would solve many of my life's problems, e.g. if I had his money I could buy an elephant, I've been needing someone to trim my trees.

She Hate Me

So After my post reviewing On the Down Low, Stan the Man recommended that I watch this Spike Lee movie, "She Hate Me". So I rented you know, I love Spike Lee flicks. Seriously, Bamboozled, She's gotta have it, Crooklyn, and School Daze are amongst the few movies that I've seen at least once and still wouldn't mind seeing again.

This movie however was something different. Most of the movies that I've seen recently have bothered me for one reason. Too much going on. She Hate Me was no different. Whereas it had the usual Spike Lee messages, that I generally agree with and am glad to see discussed. You know, the America hates black people, rich people are amoral and we're all hypocritical lessons that one expects from a Spike Lee flick.

But, this movie had sooo much going on. Biotech VP turned ho and dime-dropper, 19 lesbian couples impregnated by one man, People messing with the black man's money (Now you know that's a recipe for trouble), and the ending (which I won't spoil for those who will see it) was just straight confusing. So where as I appreciated the questions raised by Spike in this flick, I just think he might want to tackle one or two absurd issues at a time, next round. And for the record, I didn't see him in this one or maybe I missed him. I love my Spike Lee cameos!

Oh yes, I did finish "On the Down Low". Very interesting, not well-written but interesting. I thoroughly suggest that women read it to make sure they aware of the issues we face. But I can understand your reluctance if you just don't want to know, ignorance is sometimes bliss. You and your questionable male can continue to be happy. And you can not ask your personal questionable male, the burning question that I want to ask every guy I ever knew. But you could also get AIDS or any other random STD, or you might get lucky and end up with a responsible Down Low Brother, or even one that's not "On the Down Low". All in all I wish you the best.

Thanks for reading

Sushi and such

I am writing this blog to announce my new freedom. It's weird I've not been my normal self for the past month or so. I've never been one to try new things, to talk to new or old people, and I definitely was never acting my age. But at 22, I've experienced a fountain of youth of sorts which has turned back the my internal clock, which was always set on African time even though I've always lived in California. (Africa is like 9 hours ahead of Cali), In other words I have an old soul. Or at least I had one.

I don't know what happened, A month and a half ago I quit my job, went to Boston to chill with some old college buddies and ended up 22 all of a sudden. I'm enjoying myself, clubbing on a regular basis, trying new things, just not acting like me. I would've thought it'd be weirder being a whole new person but it feels so much like me that I wonder why I'm tripping.

So my friend Nikki and I were at the Monsoon Cafe last weekend and suddenly I felt it a good idea to try Sushi. Okay, point of privilege. Can we talk about how I don't ever try foods from different lands, I hadn't eaten seafood in two years and I'm not the one to try anything new in the culinary realm. Like I said it wasn't me. But I suggested it and then convinced Nikki that it was good idea. So, we tried it. It was...special.

I actually had sashimi. That's what I found out later. No roll, no seaweed, just raw fish and rice. I didn't mind the taste. The consistency freaked me out. I have consistency issues. That is why when my grandma fed me oatmeal I thought she didn't love me. How can you be liquid and solid at the same time. Gummy, yet crunchy and all over slimy. Ewww...Oatmeal. With all that said for some reason I'd still try a sushi roll.

Why? Because something happened to me. At some point I subconsciously realized that I have wasted a lot of years trying to be mature and safe when it's really not my responsibility to be that. Apparently I put all of that regret into action and have lost my mind or have finally found it. I'm enjoying myself, we'll see what kinda shenanigans I can get myself into over the next couple of years, till I actually become old and stop electing to be so.

The DL

So every black woman I know including myself was extremely alarmed when J.L. King went on Oprah, telling all women to beware of men "On the Down Low". At least six women sent me emails about it, one supposedly written by a man who liked to have sex with men but wanted to be in love with women. With all of this talk about it, I decided to read the book, "On the Down Low."

I'm 72 pages in and I grow more fascinated by this book every time I pick it up. Having known a few men on the Down Low myself I found it very interesting that when I picked up the book and saw J.L. King on the cover, he looked very "On the Down Low" to me. But that's a whole other topic. This book is crazy, dead on, but crazy. So far I have read about how he got caught by his wife and how women shouldn't blame themeselves when their men sleep with other men.

He's telling the truth but , gosh, I think if it were me I'd blame myself a little. With all of the flagrantly gay men that I know, if I ended up with a "Down Low" brother because I forgot to run a background check with them, I'd definitely blame myself. Now if he happened to surpass their alleged "gaydar" then I think I'd blame them. Maybe they need to tune up their gaydar. I'm just kidding. I wouldn't think it was my fault because I don't think women have the power to make any man that doesn't want to be with a man, be with a man. I would definitely blame the "Down Low Brother" because I fully believe in announcing all your issues when you enter a relationship.

If you're crazy, you're supposed to say it. Shoot, I say it, to friends and love interests alike. "I'm crazy, Are you okay with that?". That may explain my lack of both but hey, everyone who stayed got the disclaimer. So if I'm dating a man who's gay, bisexual, "On the Down Low", "On the Up High" or whatever else there is on this planet to be; somewhere near the beginning or our relationship he is supposed to say to me, "Tiffany, we have a heterosexual relationship but (whatever his issue is)." I mean let me know, so that I can make my informed decision about our relationship.

There's nothing I hate worse then not having all the information and there's noone I despise more than someone who manipulated me by denying me that. I'm not one of those girls who asks question she doesn't really want to hear the answer to.
Some Examples:
Girl: Do you love me?
Guy:No, I just want to play with your emotions.

Girl: Do I look fat?
Guy: Of course, you weigh 300 pounds.

Girl: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Guy: Look at her, now look at yourself. Are you really asking me this, you troll?

So to all the men who ever plan on dating me, just tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth because if I ask a question I'm prepared for any answer you could give and if you lie the fury I unleash when I find out the truth will be worse than you ever imagined.

The week of 21

seriously

My cousin turned 21 this week. So last night we planned to get all dressed up and go to a jazz club in LA. Being the vain chicks that we can be, keep reading my blogs you'll see, it took us forever to get ready. Seriously, we started getting ready at 7:00pm. What time do you think we left the house? 10. :( But seriously we looked "So Good"(Teen Girl Squad #1)

So 10 o'clock is not a good time to be leaving the IE considering that, it'll take an hour to get to LA, the jazz club stops playing at 1, and one of us has to be the designated driver. So we decide, very reluctantly to waste all our beauty on Dave and Buster's. Now Dave and Buster's is okay when you're on a date but as a Single, Black Woman who is 22. It's not the place to be.

The men there are either 40 or 14. The women there are pissed because they didn't go somewhere else and overall its not a great place to be when you're 20 something trying to get a date. But we were there wasting our loveliness on the older of the IE crowd. The night ended regularly, without anything spectacular happening. It was so...normal.

Part 2

SO... Monday morning comes. I'm still a bit tired from the shenanigans from Sunday. Still luggageless and very unhappy about it. I begin calling all the people who could possibly have my luggage. I call United Central Baggage Service, who says they haven't received it. I call American Airlines/Eagle Central Baggage Service who also says they haven't received and also hasn't heard of the man who shall remain nameless who jacked my bag and left one that looks nothing like his.

This brings me to a point that I promised to cover, why I have to sleep before going to an airport. For some strange reason I firmly believed that the bag got taken at the American Eagle terminal. However, only one passenger got off there, she was a she. The name on the bag is a guys name. Why did I still think it must've been that lady. BECAUSE I WAS HALF ASLEEP TRYING TO REASON THROUGH A CRAZY SITUATION. Gosh, whoever came up with, "Don't Sleep", wasn't smart. If I DON'T SLEEP, I CAN'T THINK. You would think that I would've learned that from undergrad. Fall asleep in a final and you'll know what I mean.

Whew...glad I got that off my chest. Now the search continues. I call the Boston Airport Lost and Found, the shuttle service and the Boston PD. At this point I don't know what else to do, so I pray. I mean, I've been praying all along but that Donnie McClurkin song really made an impression on me. "After you've done all you can, you just stand". So I just chilled out and prayed. I wake up the next morning for no reason at 8:30, went to the restroom and for no reason looked at my phone. There was a missed call from an 800 number.

Those of you who know me, know that I dodge 800 number calls. So I checked my voicemail and it was about my luggage. Airtran had it. Now let me explain to you why I stress that I must sleep before I go to the airport. The guy sitting behind me on the shuttle said, "can you let me know when we get to Airtran" like seven times. I should have remembered that we stopped there before I got off and that it was a guy that got off there. I'm sure that I would have remembered had I not been sedated. Anyway they shipped my luggage back to me and I gave them the information that they needed to get his luggage back. All in all God is good, he answers prayers and I have my stiletto boots back. Who's hating?