'Tis the Season

Like the rest of the world I’m already on Christmas even though we haven’t given thanks yet. Gift-giving is one of my love languages…I take pride in it… It brings me joy to know that I gave someone that I care about something that they needed, something that they never knew they wanted…

Speaking of gifts…What’s up with this new phenomenon where women allow men to believe that they are a gift to us? Like if you we got a good man, you hit the jackpot? No, No, Boo Boo…If he got a good woman, HE HIT THE JACKPOT

I remember the creation story going a bit differently…

• God made man and said, this fool is a retard…he is missing half a chromosome…if I let him be by himself he’s gonna go out and get himself killed trying to screw a dinosaur and then I would have wasted my breath (chuckle). So he made the fool a woman and gave her to him as a gift. (Of course I’m paraphrasing and adding my own interpretation but…this is The Gospel According to Tiffany so please allow me my artistic privilege.)

When I really delve into it, they way that some men treat women (their sisters, mothers, wives, girlfriends and so on) bothers me on God’s behalf…

I wish that I would put a gift in your presence and you deal with it like it has no value. Knock my gift off the pedestal that I told you it belonged on….Break it and say it was already broken when you got there…Talk to it like it’s nothing, when it’s everything that you aren’t in the best way possible…Blame it for the consequences of the situations you create…Baby Mama Drama (Dude, there weren’t supposed to be two!)…Daddy issues (That’s your boy’s fault!)…I wish I would see you talking smack about the gift that I made or calling her by the name of an animal that I made just because she did exactly what I made her for…to tell you when you’re trying to kill yourself…I wish that you wouldn’t show up to tend to the bright shiny new gift I make and let them know that they should be adored by the next fool that approaches. THAT'S MY WORD WE GOT PROBLEMS SON!!!

OK let me calm down. I think that I made my point. Why do people forget that the order was set down "In the beginning..." Ladies, men aren’t gifts to us…they need us…Men, act right…God’s watching J

#thegospelaccordingtotiffany