Deja freaking Vu

Five years past one of the most traumatic events that happened in my life, a friend calls in the middle of her story that is analogous to mine.  It's weird that I don't even know how to handle the situation.  You would think that I would be warm and soothing or that I'd have some sage advice, but I didn't know how to handle it when it was mine. How can I be expected to handle it when it belongs to someone else?

I can't do sympathy for the pain that almost killed me. I heard her deeply sobbing. I remember that sob.  It's the only noise that you can make to keep yourself from screaming. That hurt goes to the core of your spirit.  I remember that groan and the black that followed.  I remember driving way too close to the edges of mountains on dark nights.   I remember the mugs of straight vodka once I got off work. I don't remember how I got out of it. One day I just was.

Thanksgiving is coming and now I know what to be thankful for.  I am not who I was five years ago.