Nature of the Game

Anyone who works in a Call Center, Help Desk, or Technical Support Environment understand why I say common sense is not that common, there are actually stupid people and stupid questions and for some reason they feel the need to call ME.


What they said:"I need my password reset"
What I said:"What system are you trying to access"
What I wanted to say: "Okay I'll go ahead and reset them all. Or perhaps one at random since you seem to have only one password, whichever I pick should be fine right?"

What I said: "What address are you at?
What they said: "Victorville"
What I said: "Do you know what street you're on?"
What I wanted to say: "What kind of oblivious idiot are you. You seriously have no idea where you've worked for the past 97 years? It's funny that you think a city means an address. It's also retarded for you to expect me to know where you work when you don't even know. I'm going to transfer you to Behavioral Health."

What they said: "I'm unable to sign into the system, is it down".
What I said: "No it's not down ma'am would you like me to change your password"
What I wanted to say: "Yes ma'am the problem is with the whole system, not you, and the fact that you forgot your password and tried it too may times and got locked out. Clearly there's an issue with the whole entire system, even though the page displays and your neighbor is able to get in just fine. The problem could never be with you because you don't make mistakes."

What they said:"I can't get into the computer"
What they meant:"I can't access a specific application"
What I said:"Are you trying to get into Windows or another application"
What I wanted to say:"Did you try using a screwdriver, that's actually the best way"

Things I hate about the people I serve
* They are disobedient, please don't ever call me for help and the refuse to follow my instructions. That makes me really angry and additionally, if you knew what to do then why did you call, are you just trying to use your anytime minutes or did you specifically call to annoy me?

*They don't listen or read. For example, after I have reset specific passwords, I have to give instructions such as the following. "Okay I have reset your password to *******, when you log in that will expire and it will prompt to change your password." It never fails, at least 40% of the time people call me back within three minutes.

What they say: The password YOU gave me didn't work!
What I say: Go ahead and try to log on again.
What they say: This pop up came up.
What I say: What does the pop-up say?
What they say: Your password has expired, please click below tto change your password.
What I say: Go ahead and click below.
What I want to say: The password I gave you didn't work. No YOU don't work. The password expired...huh? I think I remember telling you that that was going to happen and had you been listening or had you read the prompt instead of being all idiot then I wouldn't have had to talk to you for the past five minutes.

What I love about them
* All of their idiocy is the reason I have a job, can pay bills and participate in capitalism.